So, yesterday I was, um, indisposed in my mother’s bathroom. As I was reading an article in Good Housekeeping on how to reduce debt I discovered that the toilet paper was gone. This is always a frightening discovery once you are already stuck on the commode.

Luckily, since I’m a huge proponent of toilet texting and just the general fact that my cell phone is almost always on me (nowadays anyway), I had my cell phone with me in the bathroom. Don’t judge me and don’t ask to use my phone, OK?

I made a phone call to my mother, 25 miles away at the hospital.

“Um, ma? You are out of toilet paper. Where can I find more?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m in your bathroom.”

“Well, check under the sink or the cabinet over the toilet.”

“I did, it’s all gone.”

“Then there is more in the hall closet.”

“I can’t get to the closet.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m in your bathroom?”

“Are you on the toilet!?”

“YES! That is why I had to call you to see if you had an secret hiding places for spare toilet paper in your bathroom!”

“Good lord!” she erupts into laughter. “Well, call Ann then! Have her get you some more.”

“Duh! Good idea, thanks. Bye.”

Ann is my step-dad’s mother who lives with my mom and step-dad. She was in the livingroom. So I called her on the house phone.

“Hi Ann, can you do me a favor? Could you leave me some toilet paper outside of my mom’s bathroom door? She’s out and I’m stuck.”

Again, a large eruption of laughter thankfully followed by a merciful supply drop of toilet paper.

Whew!

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DramaBoy’s birthday is on Wednesday. Grandma Ann was asking him how old he is going to be.

“I’m gonna be 5.”

“No you aren’t, you are going to be 4 buddy!” I told him.

“No, I don’t like 4, I want to be 5.” he replied seriously.

So there you have it, he gets to pick his age now. I personally don’t like being 32 so I want to be 25. See how easy it is?

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On a serious note, my step-dad has had a setback. We were hoping he would be moved to a regular room yesterday, however, that didn’t happen.

They did a CT scan and found some hydrocephalus on his brain. I think that is basically water on the brain, but in his case I think it was spinal fluid. So, they had to put the drain back in his head to drain this fluid out.

But, before they were going to reinsert the drain they found his legs to be very very swollen which is a tell-tale sign of the blood clots in his legs. Once again they were faced with two problems that work against each other…. blood clots and fluid on the brain. Treating the clots with blood thinner would have potentially resulted in another massive brain bleed. Not treating the clots and simply draining his head would result in severe discomfort from the swollen legs and probably other problems.

Last night they decided to balance it as best as possible by inserting the drain into his back (between some vertebrae) in order to drain the fluid without invading the brain again and giving him limited doses of blood thinner to reduce the clots. The clots cannot travel to his heart or brain because the screens that they put in place, which is good. So, now, the spinal fluid is being drained out of his back and it essentially creates a suction where the fluid will then drain from his head and down his spine and out the tube.

Apparently this means he will still be in ICU for at least another 5 days. The trend continues, fix one problem and another arises to complicate things. Despite this, he is doing well and actually eating solid foods. His sense of humor is lingering in there but he tired and still a bit cranky.

I cannot go see him anytime soon because I am getting a cold. I haven’t seen him since his breathing tube was still in. So I have not seen him conscious or talking yet and I’m really disappointed about that. Hopefully I will get to see him by the end of this week though. I’m not even sure he knows I’m here yet. His visitation has to be kept low and to immediate family only because if he sees unfamiliar people that he doesn’t see all the time he has to try too hard to process that information and it’s not good for him. I will never forget the last time I saw him. The look in his eyes will be ingrained in my head forever. He looked stunned, confused, baffled and pitiful because I think he was trying to figure out why I was there. I don’t think he has a clue that I flew down here for him. I want the next time I see him to be easier for him to process.