I can’t cook rice for shit. No matter how many times the hubs has told me how to do it and no matter how many times I have attempted, it pretty much ends up ruined.
Thank goodness that this currently ruined batch is for the dog.
I forgot to buy dog food today. I forget a lot of things… which pretty much rules out being an elephant in a former life, too. So, in my attempt to redeem myself in the Murrinator’s eyes, I cooked him dinner: a half-ass batch of undercooked and slightly burnt white rice, with a side of carrots.
Now, go ahead, ask me how I can undercook yet burn rice and I will reply with something like the ubiquitous catch phrase of 2007 that everyone uses in an attempt to sound cool, even lamo moms like myself… “I have mad skillz”. Skills must be spelled with a Z in order to maximize the hip factor.
If I were Asian in a previous life then I probably died of starvation. But I bet I was hot!
So, I have made the dog rice and boiled carrots for his dinner but I’ll be damned if I know what the family is eating! That is hub’s job anyway. But, even he doesn’t know what to make.
There is always cereal for dinner. The boys love that. I’m kind of thinking that a glass of wine and an Excedrin will work for me though.

5 comments
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May 16, 2009 at 5:37 PM
sergio keith
i know how to cook rice excellent, if i was asian i am proud of it.
April 1, 2008 at 1:27 PM
C-Rah
I admit it – I cheat when making rice. Someone even gave me a rice cooker for a wedding gift, and it’s been used all of, like, twice. (shh. Don’t tell her.) I usually buy those Uncle Ben rice baggy things and just pop it in the microwave for two minutes. Voila. Perfect rice even humans will eat.
April 1, 2008 at 12:38 PM
Princess Sparklepants
Hate to cook. My boys, last night, had Wendy’s. I had a cigarette and about seven thin mints, washed down with a diet coke. And it was DELICIOUS.
March 31, 2008 at 11:50 PM
hotfessional
This is why I don’t cook. Ever.
March 31, 2008 at 11:08 PM
Mary Boston
I just buy the rice you can put in the microwave for 3 minutes and then brag about the fluffiness
I was cooking food for our dog for awhile, but it wasn’t because I forgot to buy the food. Oh no…that would have been much easier, because then I could go and buy a bag of Iams and avoid marrital disturbance. No, I was cooking our dog, rice, chicken and carrots for a MONTH because of a conversation my husband started with the dreaded “I was reading the other day…..”